getting ready for a trip

As most of you know I recently went to Spain for a wedding. It was the most incredible trip and we made so many life long memories. For donkeys years I was the spouse of an airline employee and I flew all the time and never had to worry about baggage restrictions and weight requirements or having to squeeze into an uncomfortable Economy seat for a transatlantic flight but those days are gone now and its a fair price to pay for peace and harmony. 

It was a big trip, the wedding was formal and the resort had a dress code, so there was NO skimping on the clothes, nor the shoes. Shoes are my one true love, well them and diamonds but I digress. With both Rose and I going and her not arriving until the day before the wedding I knew I had to take her wedding outfit and shoes with me as there would be no time for lost luggage to arrive. None of this was an issue, I packed 2 outifits a day for me plus a couple of extras, workout clothes, enough shoes to start a shop, my formal dress, so many hair products and on and on and then an ugly little voice in my head said, check if Iberia has a luggage allowance, and guess what, the bastards do! I could only take 60lbs but I was pretty sure I was ok and pulled out the trusty luggage scale......and broke it. My case was so heavy it broke the scale.I tried to convince myself it was an accident, or coincidence so we used our scales and lets just say that one groaned at the weight of the luggage. Urghh, what's a woman to do?

I had no choice but to downsize, dramatically. The hotel offered laundry service and I didn't have to exercise, even though I wanted to, sneakers are bulky. Once everything was perfectly pared down I felt as if I had nothing left  I was fine. Now it was time to start on the hand luggage. I don't travel with jewelry anymore, I just stick to one necklace and one pair of earrings and thats that but this was a different trip and I needed it. I had purchased for Lily last year a lot of travel based products for her travelling gap year and one of those things was a tiny travel jewellry box in green, her favourite colour I loved it and it was great quality but more importantly she loved it and says she uses it all the time and can't imagine not having it. So I ordered one for me, but in blue and immediately wondered where it had been my whole life. No tangled necklaces a place for earrings and rings, a tiny mirror and it zips firmly closed so unlike a wrap necklaces don’t slide and the edges and now I knew things were safe . It’s now a favourite gift to give. Hand luggage was packed and I even took a book. Lords knows the last time I kicked back on a flight and read. 

One day I might try to pack light….. oh never mind hell can freeze over before I try that. And coming back was tricky because we shopped, I mean we REALLY shopped, Roses's favourite English foods are widely available in Marbella which is just an extension of England now, there is even M&S.  

More coming soon on the trip and my dress.

Dawn ❤

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closed, for good

The journey to your adopted child is one filled with peaks and valleys, none as pronounced as when the adopton is a foreign adoption. We entered into the process of adopting from China knowing anything could happen but most likely it would be a smooth sail as their program was one of the highest regarded in the international adoption community and one of the longest standing. Their rules and regulations were set and the process was not marred by controversy.

Adoption number one was a long wait but it wasn't complicated and nothing out of the ordinary happened until the SARS outbreak, at that time everything came to a grinding halt and the uncertainity loomed like an extremely black cloud. We were in touch with other families from our agency during the travel ban inforced by the World Health Organization and that bought some relief. Things started to move again and quite quickly.  

With adoption number 2 we held off filing the papers as things were moving so quickly that from filing to travel was less than 3 months and we wanted more time to bond with child number 1. Once we filed things started slowing down. At the time we were LID the wait was 3 months and overnight it switched to 9 months and then it grew exponentially. By the time we were at the 2 year mark we switched to the waiting child/special needs list. Had we stayed on the original path we would have waited exactly 3 years. From that time onwards the matching became less and less and the time grew longer and longer. A few years ago I heard the wait was 9 years. 9 long years.

On August the 28th of this year the Chinese Government halted ALL adoptions effective immediately. No explanations beforehand, no warnings, they were done. We all knew this day would come, but not like this. Thirty families we already matched with their babies and waiting to travel but on that day it was over. A late stage miscarriage of justice. The powers that be are still fighting for them, I called my senators and begged them to get involved. Hoping that the children left behind find the love of parents, somehow. No child deserves to be an orphan.

Dawn ❤

accountability

[DISCLOSURE] Some posts on this account contain affiliate links As an Amazon affiliate I earn from qualifying purchases. This means I may recieve a commission if you click on a link and make a purchase. This doesn't affect the price you pay and I only recommend products that I like and use myself. 

 

A few years ago I started an exercise group on WhatsApp. I put out a call on my Facebook account to any mums I thought might like to join. I described it as an exercise challenge where we would all agree to the same challenge and would each perform it daily in the privacy of our homes, not on a video call but would then check in on WhatsApp and "report"our accomplishments. About a dozen of my friends jumped at the opportunity and so it began. It didn't take many days for about 90% of them to fall by the wayside but a little group of us remained and it morphed into a group where we just encouraged each other to get "our move on" and it stayed that way for months if not a year or more. Then it seemed that everyone was so into the habit of exercising and did so daily without the need for the group so I archived it.   

Recently I've been back to wrangling the ladies and putting out the call to squat and so we are back. Just 5 of us, we are doing what we want, and then adding a little more daily and checking in. So if you feel like starting a squat challenge I dare you to join us in our 100 squats a day challenge. You can start by doing 1 if thats your limit but the next day try two. Or if you don't like squats do a 20 challenge, 20 counts of an exercise you like, crunches bicycles, lunges, bicep curls, whatever it is. Our latest group all seem to like the arm workouts. I use weights daily but that is my preference, I also walk at least 2 miles and run part of it when its not hotter that the surface of the sun outside. Additionally I will do a quick 10 minute YouTube video for cardio or abs. None of us do the same thing but what we do do is move our bodies and encourage each other. 

I like Neoprene weights, I buy them in sets as I start to get stronger. 

Since bodybuilding isn't my plan but strength and muscle definition are, these are the ones I use.

my weights 

You don't need a gym or a lot of equiptment you just need a few friends and a promise to commit.

Be your best self and have fun. Every doctor will tell you the 3 best things you can do for yourself are, exercise, quit smoking and limit your alcohol intake. Lets make the exercise happen.

❤ Dawn

more life changes

 Whether you are ready or not, life decides it is time for a change. I encountered one of those such changes this week when Lily moved out again and probably for the last time. She moved back to Gainesville and will be starting the University of Florida College of Veterinary Medicine, in the next couple of weeks. 

I woke up in the middle of the night on Sunday with the realisation that we were going to be making 2 trips to Gainesville totaling 20+ hours of driving for me and 15 for her because the child has so many items to her name. So so many 🥴. In the darkness of my 2.30 A.M. thoughts I was struck by a stroke of genius, rent the biggest SUV on the market and so I did. 

Both the girls loaded Big Bertha, and Lilys Civic on Tuesday afternoon and my SUV was on stand by and was going to be driven by Rosie if needed but thankfully the car the size of a Zamboni, fit everything perfectly including Lilys brand new queen size bed. The girls tireless efforts and Tetris style packing were amazing and the cars were packed to the hilt by the time I got home from work and nothing was left to do but catch a couple of hours sleep beofre heading out very early and in convoy style on Wednesay morning.

When Lily left for her undergrad college experience she was giddy and enthusiastic but this time she was more subdued. The reality and gravity of this life change is weighing more heavily on her. She keeps reminding us that life will never be this carefree again and that we will, most likely, never all live under the same roof again. Thanks for the sobering reality check Little Miss Cheerful Britches. 

One step closer to the proverbial empty nest. 

Where oh where is my crystal ball? 

❤ Dawn

no excuses

 I, like many of us, used to be able to eat anything and everything and never gain weight, and I did. I love sweets, and have never had an issue with the amount of kilos of sugar I’ve consumed until a few years ago. Thankfully I have always loved to exercise and as I got older have a respect for my body as I need it to hang around for quite some time. 

There are a million reasons why we gain weight as we age and a million theories on how we should go about losing it. Each of us is different and each of us needs to to do what works for us. But most of us find reasons why we cannot lose weight: 

 It's too hard...................... but being sick is much much harder.

I don't have time................get up earlier

I hate the gym....................go for a walk

It's too hot to be outside (I do feel your pain) ........go out early in the morning

I need help........................YouTube literally has 1000's of videos.

but, but, but, but. there are no valid reasons. You only have one body and one life.

Start small. find someone who you can start a whatsapp group with and check in each morning. I started a group a few years ago and we started with a squat challenge and from there it just morphed into each of us doing some form of exercise daily, sometimes we would throw in a challenge and sometimes we were each doing our own thing but every single day we checked in and said what we had done, however small and the rest of us cheered like we had just reached the summit of Everest. really, we did. We stuck at it for months. And some people fell buy the roadside and guess what? They are still in the same shape as they were then and we are not.

I watch a lot of YouTube videos, I lift weights but not massive ones, I use resistance bands, I follow the same people all the time and do a variety of different workouts and in addition I have dropped the sweets from my diet and added a lot more protein, but don't panic, I treat myself to cake, or chocolate occasionally.

I started my recent challenge after someone I met through IIN who had just had a baby was starting one and I have a wedding to go to in September and do not want to look like a potato in my dress. 

If you want to join me in a fun and individual exercise group drop a comment below we can create something together. Even if you are walking it is so good to be held accountable. Come on lets go. The days are going to pass whether you are getting fit or sitting still so why not start?

If something is truly important to you, you make it a priority if it isn't, you make excuses!

my big

 In a few days I shall have a sort of de'ja vous moment as my big and I start to load up the cars and prepare to drive, once again, to Gainesville. This time she will be starting the College of Veterinary Medicine and this time I'm pretty sure things won't be quite so monumental. When she left home in 2020 she moved into her apartment as a naive 18 yr old who like most 18 year olds, knew everything. She was so excited, she had lovely roommates and was moving into a brand spanking new apartment not far from UF and she was giddy. Everything was new. The shopping had been endless but it was all perfect and quite frankly, fucking ridiculous but she and the roomies were delighted and in so turn, was I. Her sister tagged along and helped hide cards and little gifts for her in her room for her to find in the coming days, she too was giddy and could hardly wait to get home as she was claiming her sisters bedroom as her own, it was afterall much bigger.

August turned to October and she missed us so we jumped into the car and met her in Orlando, it was wonderful to see her and we spent a fabulous few hours together and then drove our seperate ways with a promise of see her very, very soon for Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving was amazing, we took the dog with us and spent a chilly few days all together. I noted that she seemed a little snippy, a lot more opinionated and even more independent but that was due to the pressures of school, right? Christmas break came and then another break and my sweet girl seemed highly opinionated. She was still my big but very, very different. I was a little perplexed because she sort of grated on me and me on her and we had always been so close. What was going on?

I met a friend for a meet up. She is unwell and Covid was still looming so we met in a park. Lori has an older child and I love her advice on parenting. I mentioned casually this change in the Big and she said with a deep throated chuckle, oh god I couldn't stand J when he went to college. And that was all I needed to hear, it was going to be okay. She said we mould our kids to be little versions of us and they are, they emulate us perfectly and then they go away and surround themselves with people THEY meet and THEY like and have the gall and audacity to make and form their own opinions and voila, a whole new version of them evolves. So that is what happened and it kept on happening for 3 years. 

The big graduated in 3 years and has taken a gap year to travel but has been home for a reasonable amount of time and during this time her and I have bumped heads once or twice but the most wonderful thing has happened, we have moved on to the next phase of this mother and daughter relationship. We arent quite at the friend stage yet but we are at the respect stage and its wonderful and I love it and I admire and love her so very much.

But I just wish she would clean up her stuff!

In a few days when we drive away, the car won't be packed with only brand new stuff because thats no longer what matters to her, she is focused on her college load and recognises that its going to be a slog.

We've both grown, and I am proud of us both. So if you have a child who is about to to start college, don't panic, it will be OK you raised  them and at the end of the day your core values are there and will always be there but they just need to get shuffled about and put into different slots and reevaluated before being put back almost in the same slot. 

From our first Thanksgiving together in Gainesville

❤ Dawn

It's not like riding a bike!

 I didn't mean to completely fall off the planet AGAIN. I locked myself out of the blog and if I'm perfectly honest I've no idea how I managed to get back in and start this post, in fact I'm utterly bewildered. I have 2 computers on the go and my phone and nothing that I have done has given me the answer, yet here we are. 

I'm going to post a few more posts and get things running a bit more smoothly before spreading the word to more people than just my friend Tammie. Hopefully I will be back again, sooner, rather than later.

This is definitely not like riding a bike  but having said that the last time I did that I flew over the handlebars and broke my wrist.

❤ Dawn

a big birthday

 My birthday happened, even though I was completely dreading it, not the birthday itself, as I love birthdays but the number associated with this one. And guess what? Nothing is different. I probably won't willingly announce how old I am anymore because I really do feel that this makes me old AF even though I don't feel it. 

The girls and I decided that the best way to celebrate would be to go away for the weekend in between my birthday and Lily's and so they arranged everything and it was lovely. We shot over to the West coast and stayed at a brand new Marriot. It wasn't on the beach but did feature a really lovely rooftop pool and bar and offered everything we wanted for a girls weekend away. We had dinners in lovely restaurants, spents the afternoon on the beach and the traipsed about Naples without a care in the world. Lily tried to encourage me to investigate the popular art of thrift store shopping but that my friends will NEVER EVER happen. Are you thrift store shoppers? I can't imagine putting my bits, yes those bits, in clothes worn by strangers, I don't care how many times they've been washed! Nopety!

Having landmark birthdays definitely has it perks.  

Probably the strangest part of this entire birthday dread is that I don't feel old. I see people who are the same age as me and I want to shake them and say, stop acting like my grandma. 

❤ Dawn

It's my birthday

Lily and I

We 3

It's been a while

Hi, 

I suppose we could say I took a break but frankly thats a bit of a stretch, I abandoned my blogs in favour of anonymity and privacy having gone through a divorce. The kidlets are now biglets and unlike before, will NOT be centre stage on this platform, this blog, after all, is aptly named after me!

I'm not sure how many years have past since I last posted but I think it's a decade, I know I could go and look but that would involve the proverbial rabbit hole and I am trying to get this started. 

Lets update for those of you who lost contact and anyone that is kicking themselves for clicking on this link!

Divorced ✔ Or as I like to call it, successfully unmarried.

Massage Therapist ✔

IIN Graduate ✔

Introvert ✔

A woman of THAT age, trying to stay fit and emotionally healthy ✔

I love renovating my house but unlike most house sites my house is NOT a mansion and isn't in a fabulous setting. Its a forty yr old townhouse splat in the middle of a concrete jungle.  I had no clue I had this in me nor did I know I have an artsy fartsy side that loves nothing more than upclycling furniture. 

One thing you won't find here are recipes for glorious Michelin style meals because I only cook so that we don't don't starve and when I bought this house it already had a kitchen. Its the same one that was here when I moved in but I have many projects that take precedence over the room least used. 

I'm told I'm sarcastic and also that I use the F-bomb way too much. I like to think I have a great sense of humour but that doesn't always translate well through the written page. 

I love to exercise which is really quite lucky and weights are new friend but not the body building kind just the muscle building kind.

I hope you'll join me as I continue on my journey. I'll share what I do and my favourite things, maybe we have some stuff in common! I'm discovering life MY way and all the things I want to do and love to do. 

Glad to be back  

If there is anything you want to discuss or say just drop me a comment.

(phew, I'm glad that's done)

❤