more life changes

 Whether you are ready or not, life decides it is time for a change. I encountered one of those such changes this week when Lily moved out again and probably for the last time. She moved back to Gainesville and will be starting the University of Florida College of Veterinary Medicine, in the next couple of weeks. 

I woke up in the middle of the night on Sunday with the realisation that we were going to be making 2 trips to Gainesville totaling 20+ hours of driving for me and 15 for her because the child has so many items to her name. So so many 🥴. In the darkness of my 2.30 A.M. thoughts I was struck by a stroke of genius, rent the biggest SUV on the market and so I did. 

Both the girls loaded Big Bertha, and Lilys Civic on Tuesday afternoon and my SUV was on stand by and was going to be driven by Rosie if needed but thankfully the car the size of a Zamboni, fit everything perfectly including Lilys brand new queen size bed. The girls tireless efforts and Tetris style packing were amazing and the cars were packed to the hilt by the time I got home from work and nothing was left to do but catch a couple of hours sleep beofre heading out very early and in convoy style on Wednesay morning.

When Lily left for her undergrad college experience she was giddy and enthusiastic but this time she was more subdued. The reality and gravity of this life change is weighing more heavily on her. She keeps reminding us that life will never be this carefree again and that we will, most likely, never all live under the same roof again. Thanks for the sobering reality check Little Miss Cheerful Britches. 

One step closer to the proverbial empty nest. 

Where oh where is my crystal ball? 

❤ Dawn

no excuses

 I, like many of us, used to be able to eat anything and everything and never gain weight, and I did. I love sweets, and have never had an issue with the amount of kilos of sugar I’ve consumed until a few years ago. Thankfully I have always loved to exercise and as I got older have a respect for my body as I need it to hang around for quite some time. 

There are a million reasons why we gain weight as we age and a million theories on how we should go about losing it. Each of us is different and each of us needs to to do what works for us. But most of us find reasons why we cannot lose weight: 

 It's too hard...................... but being sick is much much harder.

I don't have time................get up earlier

I hate the gym....................go for a walk

It's too hot to be outside (I do feel your pain) ........go out early in the morning

I need help........................YouTube literally has 1000's of videos.

but, but, but, but. there are no valid reasons. You only have one body and one life.

Start small. find someone who you can start a whatsapp group with and check in each morning. I started a group a few years ago and we started with a squat challenge and from there it just morphed into each of us doing some form of exercise daily, sometimes we would throw in a challenge and sometimes we were each doing our own thing but every single day we checked in and said what we had done, however small and the rest of us cheered like we had just reached the summit of Everest. really, we did. We stuck at it for months. And some people fell buy the roadside and guess what? They are still in the same shape as they were then and we are not.

I watch a lot of YouTube videos, I lift weights but not massive ones, I use resistance bands, I follow the same people all the time and do a variety of different workouts and in addition I have dropped the sweets from my diet and added a lot more protein, but don't panic, I treat myself to cake, or chocolate occasionally.

I started my recent challenge after someone I met through IIN who had just had a baby was starting one and I have a wedding to go to in September and do not want to look like a potato in my dress. 

If you want to join me in a fun and individual exercise group drop a comment below we can create something together. Even if you are walking it is so good to be held accountable. Come on lets go. The days are going to pass whether you are getting fit or sitting still so why not start?

If something is truly important to you, you make it a priority if it isn't, you make excuses!

my big

 In a few days I shall have a sort of de'ja vous moment as my big and I start to load up the cars and prepare to drive, once again, to Gainesville. This time she will be starting the College of Veterinary Medicine and this time I'm pretty sure things won't be quite so monumental. When she left home in 2020 she moved into her apartment as a naive 18 yr old who like most 18 year olds, knew everything. She was so excited, she had lovely roommates and was moving into a brand spanking new apartment not far from UF and she was giddy. Everything was new. The shopping had been endless but it was all perfect and quite frankly, fucking ridiculous but she and the roomies were delighted and in so turn, was I. Her sister tagged along and helped hide cards and little gifts for her in her room for her to find in the coming days, she too was giddy and could hardly wait to get home as she was claiming her sisters bedroom as her own, it was afterall much bigger.

August turned to October and she missed us so we jumped into the car and met her in Orlando, it was wonderful to see her and we spent a fabulous few hours together and then drove our seperate ways with a promise of see her very, very soon for Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving was amazing, we took the dog with us and spent a chilly few days all together. I noted that she seemed a little snippy, a lot more opinionated and even more independent but that was due to the pressures of school, right? Christmas break came and then another break and my sweet girl seemed highly opinionated. She was still my big but very, very different. I was a little perplexed because she sort of grated on me and me on her and we had always been so close. What was going on?

I met a friend for a meet up. She is unwell and Covid was still looming so we met in a park. Lori has an older child and I love her advice on parenting. I mentioned casually this change in the Big and she said with a deep throated chuckle, oh god I couldn't stand J when he went to college. And that was all I needed to hear, it was going to be okay. She said we mould our kids to be little versions of us and they are, they emulate us perfectly and then they go away and surround themselves with people THEY meet and THEY like and have the gall and audacity to make and form their own opinions and voila, a whole new version of them evolves. So that is what happened and it kept on happening for 3 years. 

The big graduated in 3 years and has taken a gap year to travel but has been home for a reasonable amount of time and during this time her and I have bumped heads once or twice but the most wonderful thing has happened, we have moved on to the next phase of this mother and daughter relationship. We arent quite at the friend stage yet but we are at the respect stage and its wonderful and I love it and I admire and love her so very much.

But I just wish she would clean up her stuff!

In a few days when we drive away, the car won't be packed with only brand new stuff because thats no longer what matters to her, she is focused on her college load and recognises that its going to be a slog.

We've both grown, and I am proud of us both. So if you have a child who is about to to start college, don't panic, it will be OK you raised  them and at the end of the day your core values are there and will always be there but they just need to get shuffled about and put into different slots and reevaluated before being put back almost in the same slot. 

From our first Thanksgiving together in Gainesville

❤ Dawn

It's not like riding a bike!

 I didn't mean to completely fall off the planet AGAIN. I locked myself out of the blog and if I'm perfectly honest I've no idea how I managed to get back in and start this post, in fact I'm utterly bewildered. I have 2 computers on the go and my phone and nothing that I have done has given me the answer, yet here we are. 

I'm going to post a few more posts and get things running a bit more smoothly before spreading the word to more people than just my friend Tammie. Hopefully I will be back again, sooner, rather than later.

This is definitely not like riding a bike  but having said that the last time I did that I flew over the handlebars and broke my wrist.

❤ Dawn